The Movie: Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
It is, at heart, an extended shaggy dog story, as is revealed by snippets of cockney narration that introduce minor characters or prod the plot along, but writer-director Guy Ritchie and his cast have enough freestyle energy and bizarro confidence to get away with it. Set entirely in a fantasy East End where women almost don’t exist and shot through a drunken haze, it creates a world related to reality and to old crime movies but also self-contained and original.
The plot is a complex collision of several sets of crooked characters. Our heroes – Eddy (Moran), Tom (Flemyng), Soap (Dexter Fletcher) and Bacon (Statham) – are harmless wideboys who find themselves in a pickle when demon cardsharp Eddy loses a rigged three-card brag game with local mob boss/porn baron Hatchet Harry (P.H. Moriarty). The lads are required to hand over half-a-million quid by the end of the week or suffer the attentions of Harry’s debt-collectors, a bald head-dunker called Barry The Baptist (bare knuckles champ Lenny McLean) and the fearsome but paternal Big Chris (football hard man Vinnie Jones).
The quartet overhear their nastier neighbors planning on robbing a group of public school dope cultivators and decide to rip-off the rip-off artists. Also mixed up in the escalating mess are an Afro-haired drugs czar (Vas Blackwood), Eddy’s bar-owning dad (Sting, but don’t worry – he isn’t in many scenes), middle-man Nick The Greek (Stephen Marcus) and an extremely unlucky traffic warden (Robert Brydon).
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is too mixed-up to synopsize easily and too rickety to think about closely, but it gets plenty of laughs as it rushes from scene to scene.
The Menu: Slimming World Full English Breakfast
This meal is from Martin @AmateurChefUK and is an awesome take on a low(er) calorie English Breakfast. You should check out his site for the full recipe.
You cannot beat a Full English breakfast on a Saturday morning, even more so when you have a full day of jobs to do. A good breakfast can really set you up for the day, the downside though is if you are trying to either watch your weight or lose some weight like me a full English is not the best thing for the diet.
With the Slimming World diet, it is possible to have a nice full English breakfast and not worry about eating something you shouldn’t, it’s all about how is cooked.
- 1 Tin of beans
- 1 Tin of chopped tomatoes
- 8 small mushrooms chopped half
- 8 bacon medallions
- 6 low fat sausages
- 4 Eggs
- 3-4 handfuls of spinach
- Fry light
- Pre-heat oven at 180C
- Cover a baking tray with foil and cover in fry light
- Place the bacon and sausages on the baking tray and place in the oven
- Put 1 saucepan of water on high heat until simmering
- Put 2 saucepans on medium eat and place beans and tomatoes in each one
- Finally put a 4th pan on a medium heat and put in the spinach and chopped mushrooms
- Once the water is simmering in the first pan drop in eggs to make poached eggs
- Continuing stirring the beans, tomatoes and spinach whilst cooking
- Once everything is cooked you want to plate up and enjoy!
The first thing you need to do is ensure you don’t use any oil and as little fat as possible. If you do need oil then you want to replace this with fry light. You also want to keep the meat fat content to a low if you’re going to have sausages then you want low fat ones, bacon should have the fat trimmed off so it’s only the medallions.
When making I cover a baking tray with foil and spray fry light on it and then put the sausages and bacon on the tray and again spray with a bit of fry light. Place this in the oven at roughly 180C and leave to fully cook. Whilst the meat is cooking you then want to put a pan on water on to boil as we will be using this for the poached eggs (although you could fry eggs but again make sure you use fry light!).
As well as the water you then want to place two more pans one with beans and one with chopped tomatoes. Finally, you want to get a large pan and put a few sprays of frylight, this saucepan is for the spinach and some chopped mushrooms. This will all take around 20-30 minutes but continue cooking until everything is cooked completely.
Once the water has boiled for the eggs create the poached eggs, if you’re not comfortable doing it – check out a great method on making poached eggs here. Once you have plated up you only have to enjoy!
I’d love to know what you think about this meal, please comment below and let me know how you get one!